So, I’m Back.

Not sure how long this return will last. My, this feels weird. Hello, everyone. Not that anyone is still checking up on this place, but, well, yes.
Here is some stuff. I was fine for a while, and yes, I had the odd bad day, and the odd panic attack and long low days and lots [...]

No. Absolutely Not.

Two months. Two whole months. But today, I’ll be honest, I feel awful. And bad days are happening more often, and it seems more and more of a given that they will all just run into one again, bad day after bad day after bad day, and I just cannot do this. I don’t have [...]

Hmm.

I’m starting to see what was meant by ‘very anxious’. Last night I was meant to go out with an old friend, and I’d been looking forward to it, I was going to have a great night – nothing special, just clean good mildly drunken fun, but then, just when I was about to leave, [...]

Feeling Good

Eh-up.
I came off the fluoxetine – what happened is that I ran out, and I got a repeat prescription but taking these things was clearly only making it worse for me. So, after a lengthy discussion with the pharmacist at Boots, the pharmacist from the chemist next door, the doctor, and a med student friend [...]

Made It Home Now

It’s good to be home. I hope that here I can just stop, stop moving, stop moving, stop thinking, just for a while, until I feel like I’ve caught up with myself.
My cousin, who I saw yesterday, has tried to make me more organised by getting me a book in which to make useful lists [...]

36 Days

I’ve been on fluoxetine for 36 days now, and currently I just feel utterly washed out and left to dry. I have nothing left to give. I’m exhausted, physically and mentally, I feel sick, and it just isn’t going away. I’ve been better the past few days but today and yesterday have been a real [...]

A Bit More About The Smoking

Lucy commented on my previous post about smoking that I was replacing one long-term health-problem with another, and she has a point.
However, I’m going to be careful. I know everyone says that, and it doesn’t convince anyone except the person saying that. I don’t feel any need now for a smoke, I’m not thinking, ‘hmm, [...]

The Medication Saga: Continued

So I’ve been taking these drugs for exactly a month now – I’m on day 28 at the moment although I haven’t actually taken my 28th pill and won’t until I go to bed. But I’m feeling, if anything, worse. I spent this entire week in bed and went to two out of my sixteen [...]

Frankly This Is Old-Style.

Since coming back from my weekend away I’ve spent most of my time in bed. Staring at the ceiling, or my hand, the edge of my desk, the floor, my clock; whatever fell within my immediate field of vision. Shockingly low, in the way that I associated with my pre-medicated state, except that this time [...]

Oh, For Crying Out Loud

The meds are making me feel really sick. In the last three days I have eaten: three baklava (little sweet pastries about the size of your average chocolate), twelve squares of chocolate, three chocolate peanuts, a small helping of lasagne, and a slice of toast which I only just kept down. I’ve also lost four [...]