No. Absolutely Not.

Two months. Two whole months. But today, I’ll be honest, I feel awful. And bad days are happening more often, and it seems more and more of a given that they will all just run into one again, bad day after bad day after bad day, and I just cannot do this. I don’t have [...]

Consequences

I suppose it had to happen. If you miss a term of university – even if you were actually there, present, somehow, you still missed it because you spent half of it literally absent, in your room, staring at the wall, and the other half mentally absent, late, or elsewhere – there are bound to [...]

Points with No Purpose

A couple of things to say today: (Annoyingly, this was written a few days ago – but my internet here is useless. And by a few days ago, I mean a week. I’ve been trying to post this every day…let’s see if it works today…)
Firstly, I discovered Points with Purpose [I'm trying to link this [...]

Weird.

It’s odd. You have an OK few days, few weeks, where you feel great, you get things done, and life is good, and you look back and you wonder what on earth stopped you from being OK before. When you can get out of bed, now, and sort out your room, and organise driving lessons, [...]

On My Way Home

I’m trying to pack.
I should be getting on a train pretty much now, but the simple act of gathering up all my stuff and leaving is a real struggle today. I struggled to identify it at first – I thought I was just tired, but I’m not, I’m feeling incredibly low, and everything is too [...]

A Bad Day

Just so you know, I thought I’d describe yesterday, as being a typical, pretty bad day. Some supposedly bad days aren’t this bad, and some are worse. It won’t be a very good description, I struggle to find words for the emotional state I’m in that people can grasp if they haven’t been there themselves.
It [...]

Those Little Sticks Of Death

On a night out recently, I was introduced, properly, to cigarettes. I’d smoked before, a bit, as a teenager, in fields in the rain and accompanied by a lot of whisky, beer, wine, or whatever else was going round. And weed, of course – I’d tried that quite a bit, to disastrous effect. I couldn’t [...]

Time To Be Honest

The medication.
For all the reasons I worried about it the other day, I’ve still not started to take it. However, there was one other reason I didn’t really want to admit to there…which now means I’m going to have to give it an entire entry of its own because after all, I promised to be [...]

In Labs Today

I was asked to calibrate a fairly simple piece of equipment. My mind went absolutely, horribly blank – or rather, remained obstinately blank, as it had been all day.
My course tutor – the man in charge of my entire yeargroup – sat me down to have a word about how late I was (I’m always [...]